- 19:05 WTF? Pleasant Sunday evening family stroll turns into calling 911 for a screaming junkie. #
- 21:16 Photo: via www.jena-malone.info tumblr.com/xff26l7lo #
- 21:16 Photo: via www.jena-malone.info tumblr.com/xff26l7rw #
- 21:23 Photo: Setting up my son’s wading pool, I couldn’t help notice how “Mom” on the box cover art was sexing up... tumblr.com/xff26la0g #
- 11:02 Beautiful day. What will happen? #
- 21:02 twitpic.com/8mym0 - Saying Hale Satin from the unhappiest, most haunted place on earth, Bachelor's Grove! #
- 08:55 By the by: Bob Bogle, founder of the Ventures died not too long ago: tinyurl.com/ms3e2y #
- 09:24 The girl is now Paul McCartney's. #
- 09:31 Stevie Wonder next in terrifying McCartney Liverpudlian Death Curse. #
- 10:30 Michael Jackson will be to my infant son what Marilyn Monroe is to me. A mythological celebrity who seemed too big and weird to be real. #
- 10:31 @julie_mo Thanks! #
- 10:32 @StevenKJohnson Thanks! I find that the best humor comes from being heartless and cruel. #
- 10:36 I may have mentioned this before, but it's bizarre to me how homogenized the word "junkie" has become. #
- 12:05 I was prepared to say Resident Evil was a boring, witless flick, but then... what was I expecting? Lawrence of Arabia? #
- 13:00 Work internet appears to be down. And during lunch! Of all the nerve! #
- 20:09 How does a man deal with having a half dozen crazy girlfriends? Oh, he manages. Booze helps too. #
- 08:38 I wish Johnny Depp would leave me a $4,000 tip. I'd take a check. #
- 09:38 You know, I just realized that my every thought is a pithy gem of web 2.0 wisdom! How lucky you all are. Especially you, @nerichardson! #
- 10:39 What shall I write next? #
- 10:57 Many thanks to the Chicago Journal for the plug: bit.ly/118hTZ #
- 10:59 @nerichardson I still call it a "quill," my dear sir! Why, just last week I switched over from stylus and wax tablet. Quite modern, eh, wot? #
- 11:05 @alfaguru I did, but those buffoons at the publishing house gave me the flimsy excuse that "it had been written before." #
- 15:14 I was just assaulted by a giant turtle wearing an "I GO POGO" button. I WILL NOT BE SILENCED! #
- 15:25 THE BAD NEWS BEARS meets NIGHT AND FOG #worstpitchesever #
- 15:30 Carrot Top IS Divine #worstpitchesever #
- 19:24 What? Kate Jackson is dead? #
- 19:42 Holden Caulfield rumored fictional. #faketwitterdeathpanic #
- 08:02 New conspiracy theory: Did Michael Jackson fake his own life? #
- 09:34 @snurri I'm going with lonely idiots. I'm like Lenny Bruce. I go in, do my business, wash my hands, and leave. #
- 09:59 At last, things will calm down. Now if only things would cool down. #
- 10:12 Everybody be infected with the happy virus! Crawl with happy germs. Laugh! Laugh! mrdankelly.tumblr.com/post/129377876 #
- 11:14 I am currently on the Argentinian Appalachian Trail. There is no cause for alarm. #
- 11:30 So, you JPEGs won't show up, eh? Well then, I'll just replace you all with GIF scabs! Ha ha ha! Die, JPEG, die! #
- 12:03 twitpic.com/8ai6b - Pork: The Other Socially Acceptable White Meat #
- 12:03 twitpic.com/8ai8s - Before I die, I'd like to see a Chinese Freemasonic Rite. The mind reels. #
- 12:13 The biggest creativity killer is hanging around with fellow artisans overmuch. #
- 12:34 @sungenis "We need editorial cartoonists because we need them. Today's editorial cartoonists suck, except for the ones who are my friends!" #
- 12:36 @sungenis Sorry, great link. I'm just struck by how Art S. always has to explain what we "need" to appreciate/understand about a strip #
- 13:00 @sungenis Precisely. I find him distracting. "See? See how much BETTER things used to be? You know, back when things sucked?" #
- 13:45 I fail to see the effectiveness of a combination periscope/colonoscopy pen, Flint. #
- 15:39 I am amused at the euphemisms I employ when I want to utter obscenities. "Agitated" is my synonym for "pissed," for example. #
- 15:40 Is it once again time for a secret blog? #
- 15:54 Fresh! Salmon Pillow! feb.2chan.net/jun/b/src/1245864726985.jp
g # - 16:05 I am not sleeping. But you're correct. I do not want to believe. #
- 16:11 I am filled with rich, Corinthian obscenities. #
- 16:25 I miss that rising series of electronic notes that used to begin cassette tapes. What were those things anyway? Cue marks? #
- 16:37 @sungenis Aha! Thanks very much! #
- 16:38 RT @sungenis They were indicators to decks equipped for it that that tape used Dolby Dynamic Noise Reduction, and to kick it in. #
- 22:49 Okay, I'm blocking marketers, and it says they're blocked, but they're not going away. What gives? #
- 11:31 Getting hungry... but not for love. For food. Not sex, but food. Mmmmm, food. #
- 11:32 Joined Deviant Art. Now I have to make some deviant art. #
- 11:38 Ed McMahon dies. Untold thousands may no longer already be winners. #
- 11:59 @jessepriest Nope. I interviewed with them a long time ago but didn't get the job of entertainment editor. Now I write gags for wine money. #
- 16:16 Isn't this what did in King Lear? mrdankelly.tumblr.com/post/128937217 #
- 16:20 @snurri Goody! #
- 10:53 That was one busy damn weekend. #
- 10:53 @MisterAnnoying I think your cinematic reference eludes me. #
- 12:11 She's lump she's lump/She's in my head/Owwwww! Brain lump!/Arggle barggle glargggh ragggghh (drool) #
- 13:10 I need a new book to read. Suggestions? #
- 13:23 @sugarfreak Indeed I have. #
- 14:36 @BFIrrera Is PPZ funny enough to be worth it? #
- 15:40 @BFIrrera Cool. Thanks for the suggestions! #
- 14:48 It's Father's Day! And I want my cake! bit.ly/4ruaO #
- 10:22 Off to install @semibold 's AC! #
- 15:38 @semibold AC installed. Our AC installed. Nate's AC installed Everybody be cool. #
- 16:56 While @mrdankelly appreciates the effort to include him in on all the Puerto Rican celebrations, he'd rather have a quiet evening at home. #
- 16:57 @mrdankelly is also none too fond of plastic paddy celebrations every March 17. So there. #
- 17:05 Though, oddly enough, I don't think I'd mind the honking and cruising so much if it took place in, say, October. #
- 09:28 Friday. That means fish fry day. In some places. #
- 10:44 I'm being a little bit bad today. Back to the grindstone, Kelly. #
- 10:59 twitpic.com/7t369 - Angry skies over Chicago. KABOOOOOOOM! #
- 11:08 Freaking hail, man! #
- 11:59 twitpic.com/7t9jr - Our backyard. Hope it stops raining soon. #
- 12:07 @xgray If I could I would gladly FedEx it all to you today. Unfortunately, you wouldn't get it until Monday. #
- 12:31 @MisterAnnoying IT'S THE WBBMEGINNING OF THE END!!! #
- 12:46 @MisterAnnoying And Susan Lucci won an Emmy. #
- 13:33 @RickRReed Congratulations to you and your son, Rick! #
- 16:10 The New Snobisme: "No, I don't use toilets. I don't even OWN a toilet. I'm FAR too busy and refined a person." #
- 16:11 You know what I call the toilet? "The Idiot Box." #
- 16:12 It's pathetic really. The toilet occupies such a prime position in people's homes today. It's simply a throne to bad taste. #
- 16:14 You know what I'm tired of? All the sex and violence on the toilet. #
- 16:18 It's disgusting that some people are actually addicted to toilets. They just sit there all day long, with a blank expression on their face. #
- 18:37 It's not the heat, it's the fact that it's so fucking hot out. And the humidity. #
- 19:41 Momentary terrifying cloudburst/hurricane winds caused neighbor's wires to pull away from his house in a shower of furious white sparks. #
- 19:42 Almost ran across street to warn them, but his next-door neighbor saw it first and did so. #
- 19:43 Foo. Toilet/television gag not as amusing as envisioned, but we only achieve new forms of humor through human experimentation. #
- 22:18 Ah, air conditioning. #
- 11:05 Soon I will be having lunch with my favorite niece Caitlin. I also have other favorite nieces named Kelly, Clara, and Sarah. They are cool. #
- 11:11 @nerichardson Love it. I used to collect 60s and 70s computer music on LP. Wonder what happened to all that vinyl? Was it reissued on CD? #
- 11:25 @semibold I am an uncle who loves all his cool nieces! And nephews too. Except for my nephew Igor. He's an asshole. #
- 16:12 It turned into a beautiful day. What the hell is Nature trying to PULL!?! #
- 16:14 Bob Lymph is sobbing into the overhead projector; teardrops forming fat tremulous patterns on the screen. #annoying_fake_conference_tweets #
- 16:17 Bob Rage just made a point about successful branding by planting a fiery brand on nearby CEO's forehead. #annoying_fake_conference_tweets #
- 16:21 Bob Trenchant, while presenting PowerPoint on search engine optimization, just achieved nirvana. Vanished. #annoying_fake_conference_tweets #
- 16:27 Bob Drywall, after presenting on postal rates, emerged from shadows to reveal he was HITLER ALL ALONG! #annoying_fake_conference_tweets #
- 16:34 My coyote piece will be serialized. More on this later. #
- 22:10 @semibold Well, if you wept into a PPT you wouldn't get the same effect, would you? #
- 09:28 I think I'm Obama obsessing too much. Mostly I'm still fascinated by all the art he's inspired. tinyurl.com/az9vkx #
- 10:03 @TaraBusch I've always loved the fact that Warren Zevon briefly studied under Stravinsky. #
- 11:57 Giant trombones! #
- 12:46 @dorianwright en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Haunting_(1963_film) #
- 12:53 @kittyireland Nah, nothing to it. Watch! Ugh! Oof! *Crash* Ouch, my head. #
- 12:56 Wow, Obama is acting like a politician at times. Astonishing... He better shape up, because 8 golden years of Bush is a tough act to follow. #
- 16:01 Truly, this is the numbskull generation. #
- 16:13 Bob Hernia just made a good point about using liver bile as an incentive for international customers. #annoying_fake_conference_tweets #
- 21:31 FIRST TWEET FROM MY NEW PHONE. #
- 21:46 @khaosworks Obama needs a fire lit under his ass, but some folks are addicted to experiencing a constant state of agitation. #
- 22:01 Bob Zarjazz is removing his prosthetic dong to activate the new marketing model. Brilliant stuff. #annoying_fake_conference_tweets #
- 22:05 Bob DeLightly unveiled new SkimpCo® product. Removes kitten heads in half the time. 5 min. standing O. #annoying_fake_conference_tweets #
- 22:07 #annoying_fake_conference_tweets are ® @nerichardson #
- 22:11 Bob Vermouth is talking now. Still talking. Wait, now he's floating to the ceiling and spinning wildly. #annoying_fake_conference_tweets #
- 22:12 Bob Sasquatch is talking. Now he's asking me to stop tweeting. Still asking. Angrily walking over here now. #annoying_fake_conference_tweets #
- 22:14 Bob Venom is impacting impactful new ideas on the crowd. Five dead. Man in front of me lost an eye. #annoying_fake_conference_tweets #
- 23:42 @omgzcaitlin Check your facebook. I sent directions this afternoon. #
Some day I will post more.
- 08:56 I enjoy cocaine peanuts. #
- 08:57 Which reminds me of the time I wore a Morphine (the band) shirt, and a coworker asked if I was advocating its use. #
- 09:34 I'm gonna hit the highway like a battering ram, on a silver black phantom bike! #
- 10:34 Hm. Mike reminded me that it's been one year since Nate was christened. He doesn't seem particularly sinful. #
- 11:50 Dude: Shorts and a trench coat don't look cool together. And you already sound like a babbling hipster ninny. #
- 11:56 And your "impromptu" make-out session with your girlfriend was grotesque. #
- 12:01 As I've aged, I've grown more tolerant of those unlike me. Sole exception: urban attention-seekers. They must be expunged. #
- 12:17 Oddly, in Rock Band 2, you can buy "real" guitars (Telecasters, Strats, Jaguars, etc.) in the early stages--which is pretty cool. #
- 12:18 Then, as the guitars get more expensive, they turn into goofy, weirdly shaped guitars. #
- 12:18 I mean, why would I exchange a beautiful, vintage Gibson for a guitar that looks like a skull? #
- 14:01 Supposed to rain through to the weekend. Bah. #
- 14:12 I got quite a feather in my cap today! Then I realized too late that I wasn't wearing a cap. AGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! #
- 14:13 I enjoy cocaine made from peanuts. #
- 14:14 "You know, you're really not that funny." Fuck you, Mr. R., I'm still freaking hilarious. #
- 22:15 @MicheBella That's an outrageous lie. I've never been modest. #
- 22:16 @yougogetfucked Someone actually collects and tweets all the fuck yous on Twitter? Worse: Has someone created a device to do so? #
- 10:17 I have to give a presentation today. I prepared, yet I don't feel prepared. Wish I could say more. #
- 14:44 Presentation went well. I still feel like I want to vomit. Public speaking. Yarrggh. #
- 16:16 Where can a hardworking fellow like myself get some brennivin and putrescent shark meat? #
- 16:17 @sorshachen Many thanks! #
- 19:34 @Thunderflash55 Thanks! Someone else corrected me on this when I posted, but I appreciate the info. #
- 20:15 I need more editors to tell me my stuff is "pitch-perfect." #
- 14:00 @c_a_harebell Easy peasy! www.imdb.com/title/tt0082509/ #
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